Someone once joked that I probably wouldn’t be able to make Inferno tap out even if she had a broken leg.
But it has happened. It has actually bloody happened. I was unable to make the beautiful, talented and injured wrestler submit despite the fact she is still recovering from a broken leg!
My inability of make her tap out has been the source of much amusement amongst those in the scene who know me and this isn’t exactly going to make the taunts go away!
This, of course, isn’t the point though. The point is Inferno is back after six long months out of action and it was overwhelmingly exciting to face off against her once again on the mats at Dodgy Dave’s fabulous Woking venue.
Obviously, she is not quite back at full pelt just yet and is offering fantasy/light wrestling and having to take it easy on that left leg.
She also said she still can’t use her scissors fully as a result of her injury. I was happy with all this as I’d missed wrestling her so much and any session really would do.
Inferno created a nice little twist to this one by making us pick folded up bits of paper out of a bowl with instructions she’d written on them. We’d have to incorporate the instructions into the battle and change only when submissions were gained.
I chose first and picked out “impersonation’! I did my best impersonation of a wrestler for about a minute until I had to tap out for the first of many times!
Yes, Inferno started as she meant to go on by earning her first point with…a head scissor?! SCISSOR?! I thought she said she couldn’t scissor?! Ok, so it wasn’t locked on fully but it still squeezed the life out of my head and left me reeling. Jesus, how strong will her scissors be when she is fully fit again?!
Basically, that set the tone for the rest of the session. We took it in turns to pick paper out of the bowl and then wrestle accordingly.
Obviously the instructions that told us to use a specific wrestling move put her at an advantage – seeing as she can wrestle and I can’t.
For example, her Boston crab almost broke my back while my pitiful effort at a Boston crab merely left her bemused as to what I was trying to achieve. Her arm bar almost snapped my limb in half while I couldn’t apply the hold. Same with the rear naked choke.
Most impressive was her grapevine. Now, if there is one thing I can escape from, it’s a grapevine. No one ever gets me in a grapevine. Fact. That was until Inferno got me in a grapevine! She didn’t have it applied totally but managed to put immense pressure on my left ankle which caused such excruciating pain I had to give!
The less technical and more fun instructions brought many laughs. Topics such as “fun fact about yourself” and “If you ruled the world” are bound to and, no, I’m not telling you what our answers were!
The biggest chortle of the whole session came with “super heroes”. Apparently my attempts at being an angry Incredible Hulk and utilising the Hulk Smash are hilarious. Considering I was trying to earn a submission, that is kind of disappointing!
It wasn’t all one way traffic. I did apply a body scissor a couple of times. But, just like in all the other 15-odd sessions, Inferno resisted easily and worked her way into positions to make me tap instead!
Beyond that, I resorted to my favourite cheating methods of pulling her hair, pinching her, trying to tickle her, bite her, shoving her face into my ‘Epping Forest’ chest hair and, most effectively, using my facial stubble to burn her skin and make her release her crushing holds that she constantly trapped me in!
However, none of this earned me that elusive submission. It all ended with Inferno giving me an eye-watering wedgie – her 10th and final point! We embraced and that was that. The long-awaited return wrestle with my favourite safely done and dusted.
Inferno always looks to pull out all of the stops in her sessions and this time was no different. Considering she is not even fully fit yet, the aches and pains I’m suffering are a testament to just how gifted and strong she is. The thrilling, if slightly scary, thought is she is only going to get stronger and stronger in the coming months!
The session was part of an amazing weekend which also saw me drive Inferno and her beautiful pup Badger to and from Monica’s Wrestling Centre show. The love, goodwill and desire to see Inferno back in full on action was evident there.
Some might think I’m obsessed with Inferno – she is my absolute favourite. I know I’m guaranteed a super session and she’s a smart, fun and rather gorgeous girl to be around and I’m always left looking forward to my next booking with her. If that makes me obsessed then so be it.
The fact that she can perform as wonderfully as she did while still recovering from a broken leg says it all. She’s amazing and if you haven’t booked her for any kind of session…what the hell are you waiting for?!