Ari sizzles in oil


Phenomenal! Just absolutely phenomenal! That’s the word for my oil wrestling session with my amazing, favourite wrestler Ari.

I really wish I could bottle up the sensational feeling from the match for those times I feel down in my “normal” life!

After 13 full hour sessions and one mini match against her, I thought it was high time I did something different to mix things up a little. Plus I really needed to try something to reverse my fortunes!

In all those sessions, Ari has made me tap out in pain 118 times while I have secured a grand total of zero submissions from her. I never said it was an even rivalry!

But this poor record is never going to put me off. Especially when the session in question is going to see me wrestling gorgeous Ari in oil!

Now, the seeds of my interest in such a session were sown during Ari’s very own Splosh Day event earlier this year.

As well as being a helper on the day and enjoying the messy madness, I had a mini oil session with the punk princess Amethyst Hammerfist. And it was fabulous. Slipping and sliding all over the place as we battled out a frenetic 3-3 draw! Extremely exciting and great fun.

Also on that day, Ari filmed an oil wrestling match with another hottie – Jade! Yes. Ari and Jade. Together. In oil. Oh my…sorry! Got a little distracted with my thoughts then!!

Anyway, you get the picture as to why I am a fan and so I thought I’d put my unbeaten oil wrestling record (!) on the line and fight her over an hour at Dodgy Dave’s place in Woking.


And while this was a new experience as far as our matches are concerned, one thing that remained the same, of course, is Ari’s beauty. As you can see from these photos, she looks as fantastic as ever.

We got oiled up and ready for action. In my head, the oil was going to be a great leveller. She wouldn’t be able to keep her holds locked on as I’d be slipping out of them!

What I’d foolishly failed to consider, however, was that I would have the exact same problem. It was no leveller at all! Right from the start, as we went to go at each other, I slipped on the oil on the mats and she was soon on top of me.

She used her skills to execute a perfect headlock that even the oil couldn’t help me out of and I had to tap! So much for things being different!!

Thankfully, the oil did come to my rescue on many other occasions. I was able to slide out of her many body and head scissor attempts and, at times, she simply couldn’t get hold of me like she easily would if it were a normal wrestling session.


Ari also attempted to lock on grapevines but the oil enabled me to slide to safety.

We rolled around, slipping in and out of each other’s grasps. I even managed to get a few attacks in myself! For the first time in several matches with her, I actually got my body scissors on her! She shouted out in pain a little but managed to fight out of them.

But then I did it again! This time with a head lock at the same time. “Do you submit?!” and “Tap out you stubborn cow!!” were amongst the phrases I shouted out in desperation but to no avail.

Instead she used her incredibly bendy legs to lock on to my ankles and apply excruciating pain. No amount of oil was going to save me and I had to give!

The match wasn’t all honest wrestling, however! Both of us used some pretty dirty tactics to try to get an advantage.

Ari had great fun tickling me, punching me, pulling my chest hair or “Epping Forest” as I like to call it, slapping me and biting me! I was no less guilty with my excessive hair pulling, ear twisting, shoving her face into Epping Forest, using her back as a bongo, slapping and – my new favourite move – burning her with my stubble!! The latter causing the most amount of pain and discomfort!! We were also both committed to giving the other painful wedgies – something Ari definitely proved adept at!


Ari and I were both getting away with this shocking behaviour as the ref – Ari’s awesome partner Kiwi – wasn’t really paying that much attention!

The dirty tricks were all well and good but it was still a wrestling match. And Ari was happily kicking my butt again in that regard. A head scissor which almost crushed my head in the way her thighs have crushed watermelons made me submit almost in tears and in immense pain!

Another head lock made it 4-0 and my unbeaten oil wrestling run was being brought to a spectacular end! I did try more legitimate attacks. I tried to get another headlock on but instead merely hurt her windpipe due to crap technique. Not good. Thankfully she was ok and totally cool about it but I definitely deserved a slap or two for it!

Ari being Ari though was having too much fun destroying me physically and mentally to care about a hurt windpipe (she usually wrestles with around half a dozen injuries anyway!). She bided her time and patiently waited for another submission and it came with a devastating body scissor!

I moaned, I hurt, I told her she was no longer my favourite – the usual whiney stuff.

Eventually time slipped away (a bit like my balance on the oil covered tarpaulin!) and the match was over and a 5-0 easy victory secured by the queen of all things messy – Ari!

And despite me failing miserably again to make her submit to me, I was buzzing. The whole match was a thrilling experience and everything I wanted it to be: very challenging and super fun. And this was down to Ari. I told her what I wanted and she delivered big time.

I’ve said time and time again how she is my favourite but one of the most amazing things about her is how she pushes the boundary and sets the bar higher every time. She seems driven to make each session more memorable – at least that’s how it seems to me!

And, with the humdrum “normal” world doing its best to bring me down, someone like Ari is worth her weight in gold! But I will make her tap out one day, god damn it!!


Angels of Manchester

IMG_4527 (Red Hot Mamas – Pippa L’vinn & Shelby Beach)

WOW! What a weekend!! A fantastic, amazing, wrestling fuelled weekend in Manchester!

It had been way too long but I finally returned to the legendary Pippa L’vinn’s Wrestling Factory for one of her acclaimed shows – Ring Angels – and sessions over Saturday and Sunday.

And it’s days like the two I’ve just experienced which remind me why I fell in love with this scene in the first place.

Ok, here are the girls I either wrestled, watched in action or simply met for the first time: Pippa, Shelby Beach, Inferno, Jade, Scorpion, Lisa King, Axa Jay, Chloe Lovette, Raven, Nexus, Blaze, Vix Enoir and Roxy. Sue me for having a good time in such gorgeous company!

Girls (Photo swiped from Inferno’s Twitter! – Thanks!)

And then I met some of the guys in the scene. Some for the very first time such as Dean Redfern, Fritz Wrestler and Manolo Enrique and then some familiar faces such as Andy from Ministry of Mess, John, Brett the MC, Steve, Wolfgang and loads of others whose names I annoyingly cannot remember!

The line-up of the show itself promised some incredible matches and, sure enough, the ladies delivered.

But it was more than that. The vibe was wonderful throughout. The crowd was up for it, cheering on favourites, booing the pantomime villains…and the girls responded.

Obviously, I won’t tell you who won which matches or give you ideas as to what happened as the clips and DVDs will be on sale soon enough.

But I will say that there are some high energy, quality and fun pro and mat based bouts that you won’t regret treating yourselves to in the coming weeks!

My personal experience of Ring Angels was truly memorable. I opted for three mini sessions outside of watching the show and my intended “victims” were Inferno, Jade and, for the first time for me, Scorpion!

Upon hearing who I had booked matches with and to spice things up, the aforementioned Dean Redfern decided to offer a £10 prize to the one who could extract the most submissions out of me! They didn’t need motivating to beat me up but this gave them something extra – thanks “pal”!

Scorpio Stings


First up was Scorpion. Or “Scorpio”, as she was erroneously and hilariously called during the show! Now, I might never have wrestled her before but I already knew she is strong. And her little intimidation tactics throughout the day had also gotten inside my head to leave me very scared before we’d even started!

And sure enough, I was battered! As soon as we locked up, I realised I was going to be in for a very long 15 minutes! She got a submission with a headlock within the first of those minutes and would have had another point with a pin…but I don’t count those!


Her attacks were relentless and my submissions flowed like water going down Niagara Falls. Head scissors, body scissors, arm bars, triangles, head locks, guillotines and moves I didn’t even recognise all succeeded.

She tried and failed to get an effective grapevine on me but while I started celebrating my escape, she turned it into a single leg grapevine and headlock combo that soon had me squealing.


I did have some success. Right at the start, when we locked up I almost had a head scissor on her. Also, I almost got a body scissor on her. And, my most devastating move did cause her some discomfort – I shoved her face into my chest hair that I have affectionately named “Epping Forest”!

But that was that, as far as my “attacking” threat was concerned. She was way too strong, way too skilled, way too fast, way too smart. She even got a face smother in at the end!


My fears were realised and I’m even flinching now thinking about her coming for me! The final score was huge and she set a benchmark for Jade and Inferno that would be difficult to beat. And I was well and truly battered from the start!

Wrestler MC 0 Scorpion 16

(Milk)Shaken by Jade


There is no rest for the wicked, so they say, and it wasn’t long before I was in for mini-match two with the forever-delightful Jade! And it’s fair to say this match was the most sweaty, intense and non-stop out of the three. It also provided a highly unusual and hilarious first for me!!

I’ve previously had four, hour-long sessions with this beauty but the much reduced time in this one seemed to provoke us into having an incredibly fast-paced and energetic battle! We just went all out for it and barely paused for breath. Especially in the first few minutes.


We were rolling around, jokingly taunting each other whilst Jade was picking up points here and there. But the emphasis was on fun. Jade was more interested in winding me up and making me hurt as and when she pleased! And that led to some underhand tactics!

To start, Jade was very naughty in that, on a couple of occasions, she didn’t let me get up after I’d submitted to one of her painful holds. She just went for another submission as I lay in pain! So, naturally, I had to retaliate. And yes, I’m a little ashamed to admit this but I reached up and grabbed her hair!


She told me to stop. She warned me to stop. But I didn’t. She then threatened to spray me with her breast milk. “Hahahaha”, I laughed. “Yeah, right” I snorted as I continued to pull her locks. It’s only when I suddenly felt a liquid substance squirting out on to my face that I realised she was actually bloody doing it!! Ah, man! This nutter had exposed her breast and was spraying me at will! I was shocked, speechless and covered in breast milk! Jade just cackled!

That’s never happened to me before and I suspect it will never happen again!! Quite possibly the single, most memorable thing to have happened in any of my sessions!! This distracted from the match where Jade too had reached double figures!


Like with Scorpio, my only success was to make her cough and splutter after a trip to Epping Forest. There were attempts at scissors but they did no good. The milk-spraying mama reigned supreme again!

Wrestler MC 0 v Jade 10

Red hot Inferno burns brightly


So to the final mini-match of my Manchester trilogy and it was my amazing favourite – Inferno! Never made her tap in 12 previous bouts and…quelle surprise! I never made her tap in this mini match either!

Now, I’m not always the brightest. And suggesting to her that she wouldn’t get seven submissions out of me in such a short space of time was simply one of the dumbest. She didn’t need any motivation to hurt me but she had something to aim for! And Dean Redfern (Yes, him again! Thanks “pal”!) offered her a bonus £10 if she could get seven or more from me!


She did. Very easily. It was a 15 minute epic destruction. We were in Pippa’s fabulous ring but it was Inferno who was inspired as she charged after me and set about the demolition! Body scissor within a minute and the tone was set.

And the hits kept on coming. Head and body scissors, arm bars, head locks, twist-me-up-like-a-pretzel locks, everything-hurts-too-much blows…she was in fine form and there was no evidence that she had been in a wrestling show and had a number of sessions before we faced off! Such was her energy and freshness!


I almost had some joy when I got her in my own body scissor. She screamed out in pain for a second or two before fighting her way out of it! Stubborn cow! My actual success was taking another lady on another trip to Epping Forest. I knew she hated every second of me rubbing her face in my chest hair!!

But this resulted in no point and only served to make her want to hurt me more. I don’t know what it will take for me to make her tap out…but it sure as hell is fun trying! The final score reflected her overall dominance. Some question my sanity for even daring to take her on after my constant beatdowns! But I’d find it impossible to turn down a session with Inferno. Such is her brilliance!


Inferno too broke the double figure barrier and coasted past the seven target. She got her final one in “stoppage time” that she’d added on to make up for my time-wasting earlier. She doesn’t miss a trick, this one! And she simply does not tap out to me!!

Wrestler MC 0 v Inferno 12

So there we have it. Three amazingly painful mini-matches against three stunning, talented wrestlers. A glorious addition to my trip to the Wrestling Factory! Scorpion took Dean’s £10 for most points, while Inferno got the side-bet tenner for getting way above the seven target! No bonus for Jade but she stole the show with her milk attack! Everyone’s a winner baby!

IMG_4564 (Inferno and Scorpion with their post-session spoils!)

My beatings weren’t quite done though. The next day during a big filming session, Axa greeted me with a punch to the stomach, a guillotine and a body scissor. All while she wore a pretty dress, smiling and greeting me warmly after more than two years since we last saw each other! To quote her: “No idea why I want to hurt you every time I see you!” Yes, thanks Axa!!

It all added to a perfect weekend. And the biggest credit goes to the legend that is Pippa L’vinn! What an amazing woman. Organising the show, wrestling in several matches, sorting out the session timetable, taking care of the wrestlers and being hospitable to all the guys and guests.

Nothing is too much trouble for her, even on what must be stressful events. I’m still in awe and starstruck each time I see her. We couldn’t have a better ambassador for the UK session wrestling scene.


So that was it. A pretty damn perfect wrestling weekend! This scene and this sport has lifted me from some pretty dark times and provided a wonderful, glorious, devilishly exciting separate life from my humdrum world.

And it’s weekends like this one that remind me exactly why I love this scene and the people in it so much.

What became of the broken-hearted?

Ari3  Ari on her way to a 13-0 win in April!

There’s a number of reasons why I probably shouldn’t be writing this blog. Firstly, I’ve had a few beers so brace yourselves.

And secondly, it’s August 6. Might not seem like a significant date to you but it is to me. It’s the day I came out of my fairly short-lived semi-retirement last year. Or, more to the point, it’s the day my former better half decided to dump me into the trash.

I won’t lie. It still rankles. It still hurts. And I’d probably sell a kidney to get back with her again. She is that damn beautiful and wonderful and perfect.

But I also owe it to this fabulous scene and the truly fantastic people involved in it to celebrate the one positive that came out of my heartbreak.

Yes, returning to wrestling gave me an outlet and respite from the self-pitying and general hatred of my “normal life” I have had since August 6 2015.

Sessions reminded me why I became addicted in the first place and interaction with the amazing girls and guys reminded me that there is a world of wonder within the confines of our fetish.

IMG_2941 Ari

At the forefront of all this was, of course, Ari/Inferno. Not just my favourite wrestler but a quite wonderful and dear friend. She was the sympathetic ear when my love life lay in ruins last year, having already given me the confidence and support to go for it when I first met that girl.

I was semi-retired when Ari suffered her horrific knee injury but I was glad to be back in the scene when she returned. I was so proud of her and, despite her giving me a brutal beatdown in my first session after her return from injury, it was so good to session with her again.

And then there was the court case. I haven’t done a great deal in my life that I’m particularly proud of but being there to support my brave, wonderful friend as she faced down the monster that attacked her and ensured he got locked up was one of them. She is amazing and inspirational and beautiful and someone I’m honoured to call my friend.

Back on to the mats, there were more sessions with her. She then invited me to be part of her truly magnificent Splosh Day, which felt like the greatest place in the world to be. Ari introduced me to a messy world I want to be more involved with!

Splosh3 - Gary The Splosh Day lovelies!

I’m looking to have an oil wrestle with Ari next. In the hope a change of session type might bring me more luck! Fat chance I know but at least I get another session with the best!

My coming out of retirement also afforded me the opportunity to wrestle another comeback queen – Jade! Now, Jade is quite incredible. She gave birth to her beautiful daughter Olivia and was promptly back in the scene within weeks and showing absolutely no trace of being a new mother!

Jade2 Jade

In our session, despite nursing a bigger hangover than mine, Jade proved that not only did she still have her strength and skills but that they were even better than ever! The setting of Monica’s new ring just added to the treat! A true delight to wrestle again, another of Ari’s Splosh Day stars and another of my sacred favourites! The scene will always keep me so long as there are girls like Ari and Jade in it!

Wrestling people for the first time is always a cause of excitement and celebration and I was delighted to finally wrestle the punk princess Amethyst Hammerfist at the Submission Rooms in March! She surpassed my expectations for sure. Which, considering I made her my ‘wrestler of the year’ for 2015 before I’d even met her, were very high indeed.

Mistress Zoe was also a huge treat at Ari’s Splosh Day. I was excited to wrestle her after months of trying to arrange something and she was every bit as fabulous as you would expect her to be! For months, it seemed like we were destined not to meet. But the fantasy session was laugh a minute from start to finish. Zoe was as gorgeous as the pictures suggest and I managed to tick off a high entry on my wish list!

Zoe Page6 Zoe Page

Now that I’m fully fledged back into the scene again, I of course have an amended wish list. Top of the pile sits Scorpion, who I’d met in person for the first time at Ari’s Splosh Day. She is gorgeous, she is strong, she looks like she will destroy me…what’s not to like?!

I also want to go to Pippa L’Vinn’s next show where – would you believe it?! – Ari, Jade and Scorpion will be in September! I will also continue to buy fab wrestling videos featuring my favourites – like the three I bought last week from Monica’s last live show at her amazing new place!

Scorpion4 Scorpion

While it’s not perfect, the scene is still a fantastic place to be. It helped ease my broken heart and reminded me of all the fabulous people, places and fun to be had.

I can’t say I’d never do the same again. The course of true love never ran smooth and it hits you when you least expect it. And August 6 has been a pretty tough day to negotiate.What’s a boy in love supposed to do, eh?!

But at least I know I will always have wrestling and all those glorious beauties to add sunshine to my rainy days!

And I thank you all for it.

Total clips of my heart

It’s a funny little scene we have here, isn’t it? One day I get what I consider to be a very rude email from a wrestling producer who tried to demand and guilt trip me into buying their recent clips.

And then the following day, I purchase three fantastic videos from a different studio and am reminded about why I love this sport so much!

As regular readers know, I’m all about the positive. So given my attention has been on wrestling clips recently, I thought I’d start a series celebrating some of my favourite wrestling videos!

They will include clips made by studios, films from live events, customs – anything wrestling/wrestler related really.

Some will date back to the start of my wrestling career more than three years ago and go right through to the most recent ones I’ve purchased. What they’ll all have in common is they are clips I love made by and featuring people I respect.

There are many quality, professional studios and producers who have made so many great clips featuring extremely talented and gorgeous wrestlers that I want to big up and will do so over the coming weeks.

But I thought I’d start with these…

Axa v Inferno – TC Wrestling (tcw0115)


This is extra special for me. It’s the video from several years ago where, by chance, I first encountered Inferno/Araneae!

I’ve written about this before. I was already aware of Axa’s previous wrestling/catfighting work and so I bought this clip as she was in it. Axa was brilliant and beautiful as always in it. So strong and determined with a catalogue of holds she couldn’t wait to use!

But then there was Ari. This red-haired stunner who was mesmerising to watch as she used her incredible flexibility and bendiness to display her array of skills. I’d never seen her before but I was transfixed!


The match was exceptional. Wrestled at a superb pace, two wrestlers with contrasting styles, bringing different weapons to the mats and making for a highly competitive encounter.

They started off wearing bras but soon lost those. But the attire didn’t really matter. There were pins and submission moves galore and both ladies showed why they were then as they still are to this day – a credit to their sport.

I won’t reveal the result, obviously. But I will reveal I was an extremely happy customer. It underlined what I already knew about Axa. And it introduced me to the awesome Ari. We all know what she has come to mean to me and for that, I will always be grateful to TC Wrestling and this truly fabulous video!


For more on TC Wrestling’s clips, visit their site at:

2. Amethyst v Jade – The Submission Rooms (F125)


A more recent video clip, filmed at the last Submission Rooms live event.

This was an exciting prospect for me as it brought together one of my long time favourite beauties Jade and the punk princess Amethyst who had not long exploded on to the scene.

Jade had only recently returned to wrestling after giving birth – not that you could tell by looking at her! She was clearly as fit and strong as ever and demonstrated how she’d lost none of that ability that made her such a fan favourite.


And then there was Amethyst. Not just giving away a size advantage to Jade but also with far less wrestling experience. But she was fearless and bold and it was easy to see just why she’d made an immediate impact with so many. Myself included!

The match – refereed by the wondrous and gloriously dressed referee Pussy Willow – was at times intense, dramatic with plenty of fun moments thrown in for good measure. Both also ladies have rather sexy thigh tattoos which also grab the attention, I must admit!

Again, I won’t reveal the result. But the whoops and applause heard from those watching live was replicated by me watching on film! Jade is a beauty and it was awesome to see her back in the scene and on form. While Amethyst lived up to all the early hype she has enjoyed and will continue to attract. Brilliant stuff.


For more on The Submission Room’s clips, visit their site at:

*Check back for more of my clip reviews in the coming weeks. I have dozens of matches for so many different companies to rave about!

On the same gloriously entertaining Page as Zoe

Zoe Page4

While all the messy madness of Ari’s superb Sploshday was in full swing, I took advantage of being in the same place as gorgeous Zoe Page and finally have a wrestling session with her!

I remember when I first met Zoe. I was at Dodgy Dave’s place in Woking for a session with Ari (naturally!) and Zoe was there shooting a spanking video! Naturally, I noticed how bloody beautiful she is!

But, from the brief conversation, she was also seemed extremely lovely, friendly, clever and a mischievous character! This was all confirmed when I started following her on Twitter and chatting more.

For months, I didn’t think she wrestled and foolishly didn’t think to ask her either. And then I found out she did so she went high on my wish list! But we never seemed to be able sort out a session and I feared I was going to appear to be like one of those chumps who tells a girl he wants a session but then never gets round to booking it!

Zoe Page7

However, in a classic case of better late than never, here we were. At Dodgy Dave’s place again. In one of his bedrooms, getting ready to rumble on the carpet! It seemed like a calm place to be as the wild Sploshday fun was happening downstairs.

But Zoe soon changed that! Have I mentioned how bloody gorgeous she is? Well, don’t take my word for it – check out the photos! We went through the rules, as such, and this was to be a fantasy match – a first for me if you accept my rather generous claim of being a semi-competitive session wrestler the rest of the time!

And then the match started…and she was straight into cheeky mode! She teased, she taunted, she made me drop my guard with a cute innocent smile and then she’d attack!

Zoe Page3

When she was on the attack, she was extremely playful with it. When I tried to attack, she was extremely playful with it! Every time I tried to get some serious wrestling moves on her, she simply laughed at me.

This one was going to be trouble! But don’t be mistaken – Zoe knows how to wrestle. The trouble is, she also knows how to get in your head!!

Amongst all the teasing, Zoe’s head locks got progressively tighter and more painful – something that would be felt for days after!

Her schoolgirl pins were perfectly executed and, when I tried to show some flexibility by bringing my legs up to get her off me, she simply caught them and rolled me over to get the first submission!

Zoe Page5

It wasn’t all one way traffic. I’d often roll her over to get on top. I’d apply headlocks of my own. But she never seemed bothered in the slightest! However, she had never felt my body scissors. Unlike many wrestlers I’d faced, she was also unaware of how good they were.

And then I got them locked on. She left herself open, I wrapped my legs around and…she appeared to moan in pleasure and simply said “Oooh, that’s nice!” Eh, what?! No, tap out, no “oww fuck!” This was most off-putting! She noticed the sad look on my face and apologised. “Have I hurt your ego? Do you want me to pretend your scissors really hurt?”

She then proceeded to act as if she was in terrible pain. Actually, I say act but I mean over-act! She only stopped when she was I was looking more disconsolate than before she started faking the pain!

Zoe Page

Zoe continued her mental and physical torture of me as the session went on. She knew she’d got in my head and I was defeated! So she got on with torturing me even more!

Among her dirty tactics were gentle biting and pulling the chest hair I had initially tried to bury her face in! Unsurprisingly, she added to her score too. An arm bar/body scissor and a head lock left me 3-0 down.

I did find one area of genuine weakness though! I attempted a head scissor and Zoe went into full scale panic mode and fought hard to avoid them! Each time I tried, I could tell she was desperate not to get caught! Of course, it’s no good knowing someone’s weakness if you can’t actually get to it! Which is exactly how it ended for me!

Zoe Page8

Luckily, I was having too much fun to be too disheartened at the inevitable defeat. In fact, I’ve never laughed so much in a session as this one. We chatted and joked as we rolled around on the carpet. We teased and mocked each other. We laughed as those Sploshers who had been having noisy, messy fun out in the garden suddenly fell silent and rushed indoors when the thunder and rain came along!

Zoe incredibly funny throughout – putting on daft voices and pulling funny faces! But it all added to her undoubted charm.

The funniest moment came with the final ‘submission’ from me. I was on top of her. Trying to think of a way to make her submit. When suddenly, Zoe decided to showcase her impression of a Jurassic Park character. Which one, you ask? The one played by Sam Neill? Or Jeff Goldblum? Laura Dern or even Sir Richard Attenborough? Nope! A dinosaur. The one which attacks Nedry and spits on him! You know the one! This one, here!

Anyway, such was the brilliance of this impression, I broke out into a fit of hysterical laughter. I fell off Zoe and lay on the floor laughing. She went to get on top of me but I tapped out! I had no option to submit as I was laughing to much to do anything else! She had beaten me in the wrestling, the mind games and the joking!

Zoe Page2

We carried on for a bit longer, rolling around getting more carpet burns and having a heap of fun along the way! It’s then we realised we had gone way over the hour mark for which I had booked her for! Time flies when you are having a wonderful time.

Zoe is simply amazing. Quite apt that our session was a ‘fantasy’ one as she is very much a fantasy wrestler! Brilliant, bright, bubbly and bloody beautiful! She did everything to ensure I got the best possible session from her and then proceeded to make it a whole heap of fun and laughs! I can’t believe it took so long for this session to happen but Zoe made up for lost time and then some!

Our day wasn’t done of course! She had her gunge cherry to pop and loads of dirty Sploshday fun to have (as I wrote about in my last blog post!). And I had my debut oil wrestling mini match with the punk princess Amethyst Hammerfist! But that’s a whole, separate blog post waiting to be posted soon…!

Zoe Page6


A fine mess we got ourselves into

Splosh-Gary Sploshday babes: Amethyst, Qadesh, Ari, Jade, Zoe and Scorpion (PIC: @Icarusproduct)

There’s a line in the “Tra La La Song” by the Banana Splits where they sing “Makin’ up a mess of fun” which such unbridled joy and infectious delight. And, that is exactly what everyone involved in Sploshday did!

In short, Sploshday was off the scale. The forever fantastic Queen of Goo Ari got five other beauties (Jade, Amethyst, Scorpion, Goddess Qadesh and Miss Zoe Page) together for a day of getting down and dirty.

It was held at the picturesque surroundings of Dodgy Dave’s place in Woking and saw a lot of brilliant content shot, sessions for us wrestling fans and a plethora of smiley faces amongst us all as we had a wonderfully entertaining day.

I was one of the lucky guys who got to help out throughout the whole event. I had asked for wrestling sessions, of course, which saw me enjoy a long overdue fantasy match with Zoe and a mini oil wrestle with Amethyst (but more on those in my next blog!).

2015-12-18 05.51.09  Queen of Gunge – 3G’s Ari!

And it was an honour to be invited to stay and help out. Splosh is not generally my thing but I knew something great was happening with this. Regular readers know Ari is my favourite wrestler and a dear friend. And I know she always delivers. She has high standards of herself and works hard to ensure that these are met.

But talking to her for the pre-Sploshday blog and then writing about it got me excited and intrigued by what would be happening on a warm (if a bit rainy and thundery at times) summer’s day in Surrey!

I wanted in and the delights that confronted me were well worth it. So what did I do, aside from my wrestling sessions?

Well – I pumped up paddling pools; filled jugs with custard; cleaned dirty buckets and gunge-stained pools; carried stuff; moved stuff; provided “entertainment” with my tired old jokes; took people to and from Woking train station; ate biscuits and drank Zoe’s delicious cups of tea; accidentally splashed fellow scensters Gary and Iain with water when cleaning up and (belatedly) tweeted about the day.

It was a real pleasure to meet session wrestler Gary and gunge specialist Iain. They too pulled their weight to help out as well as enjoying the fun. Chief of the support team was Ari’s awesome partner Kiwi, armed with his video camera!

2015-12-18 06.00.54 Qadesh and Ari plotting some messy punishment for their victims

This day, though, was about the girls (no offence, guys!). And my word, it was a perfect day as far as they were concerned!! Six very different women in their style, specialisms and looks but all fantastic and exquisite. Each brought their own character to the party and it made for a fabulous atmosphere.

A lot of content was filmed and will be available for sale and I can confirm that they will be worth every penny and the photos on this blog are mere tasters.

Splosh - Gary Gunge wrestling with Ari, Jade and Scorpion (PIC: @Icarusproduct)

Jade and Zoe popped their gunge cherries, so to speak, and were soon performing in it like seasoned professionals. There was mud-wrestling, oil wrestling and gunge wrestling. Bras, panties and swimsuits were filled with all sorts of weird and wonderful concoctions.

And there was a game of Splosh Bingo that has to be seen to be believed! It’s not what the members down at Gala are used to, that’s for sure!

2015-12-18 06.05.20 Splosh Bingo!

Normally I’d lament the loss of so much gateau and custard without it being eaten but this was for a much better cause – throwing in ladies’ faces!

It was wild, it was gloriously anarchic and it was hilarious. I never wanted it to end! But sadly, all good things must cease. And it was good to know that girls got great content, boys had awesome sessions and we all had incredible fun and left with big, beaming smiles on our faces.

Splosh2 - Gary Jade and Ari oil wrestling (PIC: @Icarusproduct)

But none of this would have been possible without Ari’s vision and sparkling ideas. The day was also something of a relaunch of her 3G (Gooey Grappling Girls) company and it couldn’t have been more spectacular.

She has been quick to praise everyone else for making the day what it was – and it was a great team effort. But this festival of filth would not have happened without her drive, ambition, leadership and desire. It’s just over three years since I first met her and she continues to find new ways to leave me speechless in admiration

IMG_3869 Ari and Amethyst after their mud wrestle!

So it seems only fair that I let the Queen of Mess have the last word on how she feels the inaugural Sploshday went.

Ari said: “Sploshday was a huge success. With such awesome, gorgeous girls wanting to be a part of something so crazy, it was always going to be entertaining.

“I think they exceeded every expectation I did have. The games we played couldn’t have been better.

“I watch the footage over and over and every time is hilarious. It’s like one of those films where there are so many things you miss that just make it so fun to keep watching.

“All the girls played a huge part in this little world and everything we shot is pure gold.

“Having the wonderful guys come along and help out, getting involved and enjoying sessions too, gave Sploshday many facets and there was something going on in every corner which helped the day flow smoothly.

“Sploshday II is forming nicely, so many ideas already in the bucket so it’s set to be bigger and messier! I’m so grateful that everyone enjoyed themselves and I couldn’t have asked for more.”

Splosh3 - Gary The Hotties who made Sploshday so memorable! (PIC: @Icarusproduct)

A long overdue session with super Jade


Having waited 19 long months to face the phenomenal and gorgeous talent that is Jade again, I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of this session.

Not even a raging hangover! Yep, I got a little worse for wear the night (well, day!) before and was paying for it on the morning of our match. But off I went to Monica’s new place with my usual determination and excitement!

And meeting Jade again was wonderful. Even better news was she was also nursing a bit of a fuzzy head after more than a couple of glasses of wine the night before! She hadn’t expected to be drinking so she was less prepared that I was. Result! That meant my own bad head wouldn’t give me a disadvantage as I feared!

We made our way to the venue and…wow! As soon as I walked in, I gasped at its magnificence. Monica has done a fabulous job and all her hard work has paid off. It’s a spacious venue with the necessary facilities and some great photos and posters on the walls. And then there’s the ring…My word! That ring is awesome. There are mats on the floor for wrestling but there was no way I’d not wrestle in that ring!


Both of us got changed and ready for action. I was feeling better after drinking some water and Jade…well, she looked fabulous – as you can see from the photos. She’s always been a stunning beauty but she seems even more radiant now!

But the thing is she had recently given birth. I imagine that takes a lot out of you! And in our previous matches, although I’d lost them all, I’d made her tap out at least once in each one. So, surely this gave me the perfect opportunity to get a morale boosting good score?

Well, actually no. She battered me. Recorded her best ever score against me and not only did she stop me from getting any submissions out of her, she pretty much stopped me getting any meaningful attacks on her.


What was I thinking?! Why did I think I’d have a chance of competing with her?! I can’t even blame the hangover as I was feeling fine once we were in the ring!

Jade is quicker and stronger than before. She pounced on me within seconds of us starting and my head was trapped between those powerful legs of hers! I put up something of a resistance but I was just delaying the inevitable. I tapped and was 1-0 down. The pattern was set.

She then extracted the second submission out of me while at the same time showing that behind the sweet smiling facade is one ruthless fighter! As I lay there not moving after the first submission, Jade got tired of waiting and leapt straight back on to me. With a beaming smile on her face, she manoeuvred me into a position where a body scissor made me tap again! Bloody cheat!


But I could complain about her tactics as much as I wanted – the fact is she was just way too good for me. Soon 2-0 became 3-0. And then 4. Then 5. She was getting me with arm bars, head locks, head scissors, body scissors and even a breast smother.

We chatted in between points and, sometimes, during a point. It was the only respite I’d get! I did well though as that ate up enough time to ultimately stop me losing by an even bigger margin!

I did try a couple of head locks of my own and for a split second I thought I might get a submission. But they barely registered and Jade would turn the tables and put me in a worse predicament.

And, naturally, I tried to get me trusty leg scissors into action but Jade seemed to read them before I’d even decided to go for them. She blocked every single one. One time, her leg landed straight between my legs as I tried to scissor and she tried to block – you could say that was quite painful!


My only successes came when I deployed the dark arts. I pulled her hair, gave her a wedgie and tried to give her a stubble rash. They distracted her momentarily but not enough to stop her juggernaut from beating me up!

She finished off with another head scissor and made it a final score of 10-0! Like I said earlier, this would have been much more had I not engaged her in chat so much!

I’m sitting here the next day and wondering why I even thought I could give her a decent contest this time! She’s been back wrestling for several months, performed well at wrestling tournaments and was always far better and skilled than me anyway! If anything, given I don’t wrestle as much as I used to, surely a 10-0 defeat was always on the cards and I did well to keep it that low!

My body is aching still but it’s an amazing buzz to have her back in the scene after her maternity leave. Anyone who’s ever had a session with Jade will understand that. She’s always been a talented, extremely fun and totally gorgeous girl to wrestle and now she seems even better than before!

No matter how many great girls there are in this scene (and there are many), there’s always room for a superstar like Jade. Book her. You won’t regret it!