(Red Hot Mamas – Pippa L’vinn & Shelby Beach)
WOW! What a weekend!! A fantastic, amazing, wrestling fuelled weekend in Manchester!
It had been way too long but I finally returned to the legendary Pippa L’vinn’s Wrestling Factory for one of her acclaimed shows – Ring Angels – and sessions over Saturday and Sunday.
And it’s days like the two I’ve just experienced which remind me why I fell in love with this scene in the first place.
Ok, here are the girls I either wrestled, watched in action or simply met for the first time: Pippa, Shelby Beach, Inferno, Jade, Scorpion, Lisa King, Axa Jay, Chloe Lovette, Raven, Nexus, Blaze, Vix Enoir and Roxy. Sue me for having a good time in such gorgeous company!
(Photo swiped from Inferno’s Twitter! – Thanks!)
And then I met some of the guys in the scene. Some for the very first time such as Dean Redfern, Fritz Wrestler and Manolo Enrique and then some familiar faces such as Andy from Ministry of Mess, John, Brett the MC, Steve, Wolfgang and loads of others whose names I annoyingly cannot remember!
The line-up of the show itself promised some incredible matches and, sure enough, the ladies delivered.
But it was more than that. The vibe was wonderful throughout. The crowd was up for it, cheering on favourites, booing the pantomime villains…and the girls responded.
Obviously, I won’t tell you who won which matches or give you ideas as to what happened as the clips and DVDs will be on sale soon enough.
But I will say that there are some high energy, quality and fun pro and mat based bouts that you won’t regret treating yourselves to in the coming weeks!
My personal experience of Ring Angels was truly memorable. I opted for three mini sessions outside of watching the show and my intended “victims” were Inferno, Jade and, for the first time for me, Scorpion!
Upon hearing who I had booked matches with and to spice things up, the aforementioned Dean Redfern decided to offer a £10 prize to the one who could extract the most submissions out of me! They didn’t need motivating to beat me up but this gave them something extra – thanks “pal”!
First up was Scorpion. Or “Scorpio”, as she was erroneously and hilariously called during the show! Now, I might never have wrestled her before but I already knew she is strong. And her little intimidation tactics throughout the day had also gotten inside my head to leave me very scared before we’d even started!
And sure enough, I was battered! As soon as we locked up, I realised I was going to be in for a very long 15 minutes! She got a submission with a headlock within the first of those minutes and would have had another point with a pin…but I don’t count those!
Her attacks were relentless and my submissions flowed like water going down Niagara Falls. Head scissors, body scissors, arm bars, triangles, head locks, guillotines and moves I didn’t even recognise all succeeded.
She tried and failed to get an effective grapevine on me but while I started celebrating my escape, she turned it into a single leg grapevine and headlock combo that soon had me squealing.
I did have some success. Right at the start, when we locked up I almost had a head scissor on her. Also, I almost got a body scissor on her. And, my most devastating move did cause her some discomfort – I shoved her face into my chest hair that I have affectionately named “Epping Forest”!
But that was that, as far as my “attacking” threat was concerned. She was way too strong, way too skilled, way too fast, way too smart. She even got a face smother in at the end!
My fears were realised and I’m even flinching now thinking about her coming for me! The final score was huge and she set a benchmark for Jade and Inferno that would be difficult to beat. And I was well and truly battered from the start!
Wrestler MC 0 Scorpion 16
(Milk)Shaken by Jade
There is no rest for the wicked, so they say, and it wasn’t long before I was in for mini-match two with the forever-delightful Jade! And it’s fair to say this match was the most sweaty, intense and non-stop out of the three. It also provided a highly unusual and hilarious first for me!!
I’ve previously had four, hour-long sessions with this beauty but the much reduced time in this one seemed to provoke us into having an incredibly fast-paced and energetic battle! We just went all out for it and barely paused for breath. Especially in the first few minutes.
We were rolling around, jokingly taunting each other whilst Jade was picking up points here and there. But the emphasis was on fun. Jade was more interested in winding me up and making me hurt as and when she pleased! And that led to some underhand tactics!
To start, Jade was very naughty in that, on a couple of occasions, she didn’t let me get up after I’d submitted to one of her painful holds. She just went for another submission as I lay in pain! So, naturally, I had to retaliate. And yes, I’m a little ashamed to admit this but I reached up and grabbed her hair!
She told me to stop. She warned me to stop. But I didn’t. She then threatened to spray me with her breast milk. “Hahahaha”, I laughed. “Yeah, right” I snorted as I continued to pull her locks. It’s only when I suddenly felt a liquid substance squirting out on to my face that I realised she was actually bloody doing it!! Ah, man! This nutter had exposed her breast and was spraying me at will! I was shocked, speechless and covered in breast milk! Jade just cackled!
That’s never happened to me before and I suspect it will never happen again!! Quite possibly the single, most memorable thing to have happened in any of my sessions!! This distracted from the match where Jade too had reached double figures!
Like with Scorpio, my only success was to make her cough and splutter after a trip to Epping Forest. There were attempts at scissors but they did no good. The milk-spraying mama reigned supreme again!
Wrestler MC 0 v Jade 10
Red hot Inferno burns brightly
So to the final mini-match of my Manchester trilogy and it was my amazing favourite – Inferno! Never made her tap in 12 previous bouts and…quelle surprise! I never made her tap in this mini match either!
Now, I’m not always the brightest. And suggesting to her that she wouldn’t get seven submissions out of me in such a short space of time was simply one of the dumbest. She didn’t need any motivation to hurt me but she had something to aim for! And Dean Redfern (Yes, him again! Thanks “pal”!) offered her a bonus £10 if she could get seven or more from me!
She did. Very easily. It was a 15 minute epic destruction. We were in Pippa’s fabulous ring but it was Inferno who was inspired as she charged after me and set about the demolition! Body scissor within a minute and the tone was set.
And the hits kept on coming. Head and body scissors, arm bars, head locks, twist-me-up-like-a-pretzel locks, everything-hurts-too-much blows…she was in fine form and there was no evidence that she had been in a wrestling show and had a number of sessions before we faced off! Such was her energy and freshness!
I almost had some joy when I got her in my own body scissor. She screamed out in pain for a second or two before fighting her way out of it! Stubborn cow! My actual success was taking another lady on another trip to Epping Forest. I knew she hated every second of me rubbing her face in my chest hair!!
But this resulted in no point and only served to make her want to hurt me more. I don’t know what it will take for me to make her tap out…but it sure as hell is fun trying! The final score reflected her overall dominance. Some question my sanity for even daring to take her on after my constant beatdowns! But I’d find it impossible to turn down a session with Inferno. Such is her brilliance!
Inferno too broke the double figure barrier and coasted past the seven target. She got her final one in “stoppage time” that she’d added on to make up for my time-wasting earlier. She doesn’t miss a trick, this one! And she simply does not tap out to me!!
Wrestler MC 0 v Inferno 12
So there we have it. Three amazingly painful mini-matches against three stunning, talented wrestlers. A glorious addition to my trip to the Wrestling Factory! Scorpion took Dean’s £10 for most points, while Inferno got the side-bet tenner for getting way above the seven target! No bonus for Jade but she stole the show with her milk attack! Everyone’s a winner baby!
(Inferno and Scorpion with their post-session spoils!)
My beatings weren’t quite done though. The next day during a big filming session, Axa greeted me with a punch to the stomach, a guillotine and a body scissor. All while she wore a pretty dress, smiling and greeting me warmly after more than two years since we last saw each other! To quote her: “No idea why I want to hurt you every time I see you!” Yes, thanks Axa!!
It all added to a perfect weekend. And the biggest credit goes to the legend that is Pippa L’vinn! What an amazing woman. Organising the show, wrestling in several matches, sorting out the session timetable, taking care of the wrestlers and being hospitable to all the guys and guests.
Nothing is too much trouble for her, even on what must be stressful events. I’m still in awe and starstruck each time I see her. We couldn’t have a better ambassador for the UK session wrestling scene.
So that was it. A pretty damn perfect wrestling weekend! This scene and this sport has lifted me from some pretty dark times and provided a wonderful, glorious, devilishly exciting separate life from my humdrum world.
And it’s weekends like this one that remind me exactly why I love this scene and the people in it so much.