Author Archives: michaelcross21

Monica’s magnificent wrestling show!

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Despite a fair amount of interaction over the past few years, I’d never actually met Monica of Monica’s Wrestling Centre in person until last week.

I’d booked sessions at both her old and new venues, interviewed her for this blog and engaged over social media plenty of times so it was high time I got my ass down to one of her shows to meet the great woman at last.

And I sure as hell picked a fabulous first MWC event to go to! Over a week later and I’m still buzzing about it! All eight girls who competed in a total of nine matches were amazing – real stars of the sport.

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(Antscha and Lexi battle it out! Pic: Monica’s Wrestling Centre)

I’d never met any of the competitors in person before and had only seen Antscha and Gabi on video so it was fresh and exciting to see all “new” girls in action.

I was delighted to meet three of the gorgeous IMAX girls who have made quite an impression since they burst on the scene – Kat, Lexi and Viper. Not only good looking but sweet to talk to and rather brilliant in the ring!

It was delightful watching newcomer Desi along with Gabi, Eli and Leila in action too. As well as being rather easy on the eye and full of smiles, they sure can wrestle!

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(Eli and Viper wrestled hard in their bout! Pic: Monica’s Wrestling Centre)

And it was an absolute honour seeing Antscha. I have to admit, I was actually a little star struck seeing her. Heard so much about her and watched so many videos – she is a phenomenal professional.

I wanted to go up to her and tell her how much I admire her but I was scared I’d embarrass myself like an idiot fanboy!

They weren’t the only girls there, of course. As well as meeting and having a great laugh with Monica, it was a pleasure meeting the legend that is Ina Black.

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I’m also delighted to report that MWC has signed a rather gorgeous girl Havanna (Picture by Victor Kurzweil above)! She was there for a photoshoot before the action started and she hung around for a while afterwards. I’d be lying if I said she hadn’t caught my eye…! 😉

And, last but certainly not least, there was Inferno. I’d gone to the show with her, her friend and her delightful pup Badger. Now, the five-month-old is already a star in my eyes and he certainly charmed and made many friends at this show.

What was also lovely to see was the goodwill so many had for Inferno. She is nearing a return from her broken leg and she certainly felt the love from people there.

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(Inferno with her delightful pup Badger! Pic: Tall Martin)

I obviously won’t go into too much detail about the matches as Monica is selling the clips in her store here.

But I will say that they were incredible. The standard of wrestling on show was outstanding. All matches consisted of three, six minute rounds but they seem to fly by in the blink of an eye!

I was asked for my favourite at the end of the show but I’ve changed my mind a number of times so I’m reluctant to pick one now!

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(Gabi and Leila go at it! Pic: Monica’s Wrestling Centre)

The girls gave it everything and that created some instant classics! It was a real joy to be there. The crowd were well up for it too and got involved in the fun.

That was another great thing about the show – the guys who’d come to watch were great! It’s always a treat to meet other session wrestling men at such events and be able to talk freely about our passion.

As well as a couple of old faces, it was nice to meet the likes of “Tall” Martin, Gorbash, Dave and Richard and finally put a face to names I’d heard on social media.

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(Kat and Lexi in the Battle of the IMAX girls! Pic: Monica’s Wrestling Centre)

A truly wonderful day. And it was all made possible by the magnificent Monica. She’s quite a character and has the devil in her when it comes to winding the punters (and wrestlers) up. But she’s a sweetheart with it and made us all feel welcome.

We are extremely blessed in the UK session wrestling scene and it’s because of the efforts of the likes of Monica that we get to enjoy so much. Her next show is in November. I’d seriously recommend you get yourself along if you are around!

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The girls!

Back (L-R): Eli, Gabi, Desi, Monica, Inferno, Kat and Viper.

Front: (L-R): Antscha, Leila and Lexi

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Broken leg doesn’t stop Inferno breaking me

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Someone once joked that I probably wouldn’t be able to make Inferno tap out even if she had a broken leg.

But it has happened. It has actually bloody happened. I was unable to make the beautiful, talented and injured wrestler submit despite the fact she is still recovering from a broken leg!

My inability of make her tap out has been the source of much amusement amongst those in the scene who know me and this isn’t exactly going to make the taunts go away!

This, of course, isn’t the point though. The point is Inferno is back after six long months out of action and it was overwhelmingly exciting to face off against her once again on the mats at Dodgy Dave’s fabulous Woking venue.

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Obviously, she is not quite back at full pelt just yet and is offering fantasy/light wrestling and having to take it easy on that left leg.

She also said she still can’t use her scissors fully as a result of her injury. I was happy with all this as I’d missed wrestling her so much and any session really would do.

Inferno created a nice little twist to this one by making us pick folded up bits of paper out of a bowl with instructions she’d written on them. We’d have to incorporate the instructions into the battle and change only when submissions were gained.

I chose first and picked out “impersonation’! I did my best impersonation of a wrestler for about a minute until I had to tap out for the first of many times!

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Yes, Inferno started as she meant to go on by earning her first point with…a head scissor?! SCISSOR?! I thought she said she couldn’t scissor?! Ok, so it wasn’t locked on fully but it still squeezed the life out of my head and left me reeling. Jesus, how strong will her scissors be when she is fully fit again?!

Basically, that set the tone for the rest of the session. We took it in turns to pick paper out of the bowl and then wrestle accordingly.

Obviously the instructions that told us to use a specific wrestling move put her at an advantage – seeing as she can wrestle and I can’t.

For example, her Boston crab almost broke my back while my pitiful effort at a Boston crab merely left her bemused as to what I was trying to achieve. Her arm bar almost snapped my limb in half while I couldn’t apply the hold. Same with the rear naked choke.

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Most impressive was her grapevine. Now, if there is one thing I can escape from, it’s a grapevine. No one ever gets me in a grapevine. Fact. That was until Inferno got me in a grapevine! She didn’t have it applied totally but managed to put immense pressure on my left ankle which caused such excruciating pain I had to give!

The less technical and more fun instructions brought many laughs. Topics such as “fun fact about yourself” and “If you ruled the world” are bound to and, no, I’m not telling you what our answers were!

The biggest chortle of the whole session came with “super heroes”. Apparently my attempts at being an angry Incredible Hulk and utilising the Hulk Smash are hilarious. Considering I was trying to earn a submission, that is kind of disappointing!

It wasn’t all one way traffic. I did apply a body scissor a couple of times. But, just like in all the other 15-odd sessions, Inferno resisted easily and worked her way into positions to make me tap instead!

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Beyond that, I resorted to my favourite cheating methods of pulling her hair, pinching her, trying to tickle her, bite her, shoving her face into my ‘Epping Forest’ chest hair and, most effectively, using my facial stubble to burn her skin and make her release her crushing holds that she constantly trapped me in!

However, none of this earned me that elusive submission. It all ended with Inferno giving me an eye-watering wedgie – her 10th and final point! We embraced and that was that. The long-awaited return wrestle with my favourite safely done and dusted.

Inferno always looks to pull out all of the stops in her sessions and this time was no different. Considering she is not even fully fit yet, the aches and pains I’m suffering are a testament to just how gifted and strong she is. The thrilling, if slightly scary, thought is she is only going to get stronger and stronger in the coming months!

The session was part of an amazing weekend which also saw me drive Inferno and her beautiful pup Badger to and from Monica’s Wrestling Centre show. The love, goodwill and desire to see Inferno back in full on action was evident there.

Some might think I’m obsessed with Inferno – she is my absolute favourite. I know I’m guaranteed a super session and she’s a smart, fun and rather gorgeous girl to be around and I’m always left looking forward to my next booking with her. If that makes me obsessed then so be it.

The fact that she can perform as wonderfully as she did while still recovering from a broken leg says it all. She’s amazing and if you haven’t booked her for any kind of session…what the hell are you waiting for?!

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Brought to my knees by the perfect dominatrix

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I’d already had an amazing week with my session with Pippa L’Vinn, but things got exceptionally exciting when I booked a domme session with the fabulous Domina Araneae.

Now her broken leg has meant an enforced absence from wrestling and it won’t come as a surprise to anyone that I’ve missed her!

But there is more to this remarkable and beautiful woman than wrestling. For starters she is an incredible dominatrix. So I thought, why not satisfy my desire for a session with her and experience the most pleasurable pain in person!

It has been suggested that I’m obsessed with Ari. And my response to that is that if wanting top quality, professional, hugely entertaining sessions with a gorgeous talent like Ari is an obsession then I’m guilty as charged!

She is always worth it and, in any case, this isn’t the first time that I’ve gone out of my mat wrestling comfort zone with Domina Araneae!

She introduced me to Splosh at her amazing Splosh Day event last year; she used me as a pin cushion through needleplay; had an oil wrestling session and has subjected me to a couple of incredible beatdown sessions!

I always thought I’d only ever be interested in wrestling but, little by little, she has shown me a different and truly exciting world. So seeing Domina in full flow was a natural step for me.

You see, I trust her implicitly to look after me and ensure I have a truly enjoyable session.

When I booked her, she asked me what my levels were and I told her to surprise me within those boundaries. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I got something truly amazing and memorable.

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For starters, look at her in these photos. Just look! Beautiful from head to toe. And what an outfit!! She was in the mood for inflicting pain and she sure looked the part!

She let me choose the music to be played and I went for a classic punk selection! The chaotic and anarchic music seemed to fit the immense experience I was about to enjoy!

I thought she was starting off low key when she asked me to light around 20 candles that she had brought with her. But then she instructed me to give her fresh reasons for why she was wonderful for each one I lit.

And when I struggled to light the odd one, I got an extremely hard smack! Ouch!

Things got funnier when she got the money I’d paid for the session and threw it all over the floor, asking me to pick it up without using my hands!!

Domina was most unamused when I struggled and tried to cheat by using my hands. So as well as punishing me with more thunderous whips, I was tied up so I could only crawl and collect the notes with my mouth.

She sat on me to make it more difficult and then made me cluck like a chicken because that’s what I looked like!! She smacked me each time I failed. It was incredibly difficult so I got smacked a lot!

I was reeling from the pain but getting an almighty buzz from it. And we were only just getting started at this point! Domina – who seemed to be enjoying it more and more – was cranking things up a notch with each passing minute.

A gymnastics box gave her fresh ideas as I was made to lie over it with my hands tied to the bars on the side. With the punk music flowing, she asked me who sang a particular track and I inexplicably failed to identify the Dead Kennedys, promoting 10 more whips of my already pain-stricken butt!

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But that was merely the hors d’oeuvres to the main course of this particular part of the session. Because it was at this point when it became clear that the candles were not for decoration!

The still burning candles obviously produced plenty of hot wax and it was when the first of this landed on my back that I let out a huge scream! What a sensation!

It was an incredible feeling. My butt cheeks were clenched in anticipation just before wax landed on my back. Bless her, she rubbed vaseline all over my back so it didn’t hurt as much. But man, it was still very hot at times!

Like with needleplay, I never thought I’d enjoy having hot wax poured on my helpless skin but it was an extremely pleasurable pain.

Domina Araneae continued to show just what a magnificent mistress she makes as the session progressed. While I was lying on the floor, she sat on my chest and trapped my head between her thighs and bounced up and down, which had me hurting!

But then she put the wonder of the world that is #Arisbum to great use by face-sitting me. Domina was most put out when I tapped so quickly so she got up and did it again with more gusto!

The whips and spanks to my now poor and battered ass continued throughout. I’d grit my teeth and try to keep it all in but couldn’t help it!

Domina tied me up one last time (and enjoyed making the rope burn my skin!) where she first made me kiss her foot before she subjected me to torturous tickling! Once she discovered I am extremely ticklish, there was no stopping her.

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The final task she ordered me to do was to get on all fours and give her a piggy back around the room…while making chicken noises again!! Seriously, Domina, what’s with those?!

She wasn’t quite done there though. I was forced to put out each candle with my fingers and tell her again why she was so wonderful. I was then made to kiss both her feet this time and a spank later I was free from Domina…for now!

What an incredible session! Domina Araneae was strict but also playful, professional but mischievous and extremely creative, as I expected her to be. But what also struck me was how naturally and seamlessly she went into Domina mode as soon as we started.

Her abilities, her confidence, her desire to entertain and fulfil desires and – of course – her incredible looks make her the perfect mistress. Either for novices like me or seasoned subs!

I’d have never tried this with anyone else. Such is the esteem I hold her in and the trust and confidence I have that she’ll look after me. I felt at ease trying something new and I got to satisfy my Ari session fix!

Afterwards, we went for a drink at the pub where we had impromptu arm wrestles with each hand – she won both times of course. Using crutches has made her arms even stronger than they were before!

There’s a lot more that she does and a lot more that I’ll try next time. And there will be a next time. Wrestling is and will always be the main passion for me. But there’s a whole exciting world out there and Domina Araneae has once again opened new doors for me. And I love her all the more for it!

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Schooled by the legendary Pippa L’Vinn

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‘Legend’ is a tag thrown about all too willingly these days, especially in sports. But I don’t think there can be any debate that the glorious Pippa L’Vinn is worthy of it.

She truly is a wrestling legend – both for her professional and mat-based wrestling work done over so many years with great distinction.

I remember being totally star-struck when I first met her three years ago ahead of one of her famous shows up at Manchester’s Wrestling Factory. Pippa of course was modest and waved away my adulation.

But she deserved it. It was a pleasure watching her at work on her shows, how she made every single person feel welcome and that they were the centre of the universe even on show days when things were hectic and how she arranged sessions.

Always easy to deal with it and so friendly and lovely. I actually got in touch with her on this occasion asking if a couple of girls were free for a last minute session while I was in Manchester.

She tried to arrange it but when they weren’t available she called to apologise. But then it hit me! I’ve never actually had a session with Pippa herself!! All these years and a number of visits to the factory but no session with the main girl?! Time to put that right!

I immediately begged her to go easy on me. I have no real hope of winning any of my sessions, let alone against one of the all time best! She went through how I wanted it, what I liked or didn’t like and we got to it.

As you can see from the pictures, she looks fabulous. She’s even better in person! And she’s every bit as fun and friendly as you will have heard.

We locked up and immediately started getting a feel for each other. Goes without saying that she was much stronger and her ability was light years ahead of mine. But I could see she was thinking ahead and deciding how to get me…and I of course had no idea as to how I was going to stop her!

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I actually resisted anything painful for at least two minutes. But then she got me in an arm lock and then applied greater pressure to my wrist and I had to tap.

Soon, the submissions started to flow like water from a tap. A brutal ankle lock was particularly painful while a crucifix – which saw my left arm caught in an arm bar and my right trapped between Pippa’s legs – was devastatingly effective!

This was a huge education! And it was all rather wonderful and dazzling. I was trying my best to get some offensive moves of my own but far stronger and skilled people have tried and failed at the hands of Pippa!

The worrying thing was that she was clearly holding back, as I’d requested. She could have made me tap once every 30 seconds if she needed to!

But I guess there was no value for her in just annihilating me to clock up tap outs and she wanted me to enjoy the session.

Instead, she kept looking for different ways to attack. She didn’t just overpower me and keep using the same moves over and over. She was quick, inventive and creative.

Of course, there were standard moves such as head and body scissors but they seemed to come from seemingly ‘nowhere’ positions when it seemed I was safe!

I was loving every second of it, though. Pippa was very complimentary about my efforts too! She said I was strong for my size, that I had good balance and I was very sporting during combat!

She also congratulated me on a couple of blocks I made when she tried to execute moves. Good to know I have got a defence at times!

My one and only chance at success came when Pippa, for once, let her guard down and I managed to get my body scissor on. I’ve made one of two great wrestlers tap to this and I badly wanted to add Pippa’s name to that (extremely short) list. I tried, I squeezed and I did everything to evade her escape attempts.

But to no avail. Pippa escaped and my chance of some glory was snatched away.

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Instead, Pippa continued to dazzle. She got me in a triangle, a butterfly, figure four armlock and most impressively a dragon sleeper.

She wasn’t averse to some legendary L’Vinn tactics either! She tickled me at times when I was resisting her moves and she thought nothing of hissing taunts into my ears as she executed moves!

All of it was in great spirit though. And it made for an even better session! What also lifted the session was how Pippa would give me a few pointers, not just explaining certain moves but showing me too.

She’s an exceptional teacher – there are many girls on the scene who will back that up – and she was happy to share her knowledge and experience.

The hour came and went seemingly in a blink of an eye. It was outstanding. Pippa won at least 15-0. May have even been a couple more – I lost count!

But that really wasn’t the point. For starters, Pippa was wrestling within herself as she didn’t need to go full pelt! Secondly, we chatted about moves and stuff in between which ate up some of her time. And thirdly, it was superb as it was! I do this to enjoy myself and it was exceptional fun.

She even kindly gave me a lift to the train station as it would have been touch or go whether I’d make it for my booked train otherwise! But we had a nice chat about wrestling and agreed to have a longer chat next time I’m up.

Pippa is beautiful in every way. I haven’t done any sessions since my double with Ari and Jade in April but this was a wonderful way to get back into it. And it was an honour to share the wrestling mats with such an icon in our scene.

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Review: Pro Mixed Wrestling – Flexible Foes

Flexible Foes Inferno v Laken

Take two of the hottest and most gifted mat-based wrestlers in the scene, stick them in a ring for a pro wrestling match and what do you get? Grade A awesomeness, that’s what!

It’s been a while since I reviewed a clip for this blog but this one inspired me, especially as it’s a little different to my usual thing.

Inferno and Laken are at their brilliant best, showing off their skills doing something many of us wouldn’t associate them with. It’s billed as dancer (Laken) v gymnast (Inferno) but there’s a hell of a lot more to them than that.

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It’s an absolute treat of a match where we see an array of pro moves including boston crabs, clotheslines and bow and arrows alongside some stunningly creative and impressive holds, such as a handstand/scissor combination!

Ever since I interviewed Toro about his Pro Mixed Wrestling venture, I’ve been intrigued. I thought my interest in this discipline ended years ago when Lita left the WWE.

But I liked the cut of his jib and I liked the girls he had attracted to the ring even more so. You cannot go wrong with the likes of Lisa King, Axa and Raven, can you?!

Here, of course, we have Inferno and Laken in Monica’s wrestling ring! It won’t surprise any of you that I chose a clip featuring Inferno. You may have noticed I’m quite a big fan of hers. Some might even call it an obsession! 😉

So I know all about her ability and she excels here. But Laken isn’t just here to make up the numbers. Indeed, she is equally enthralling and entertaining to watch. And equally extremely easy on the eye!

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Better still, Laken is clearly a ‘heel’ wrestler. The girl trash talks, she uses dirty tricks and illegal moves and wears a glorious ‘I don’t care for rules’ expression from start to finish.

Inferno is the ‘face’ and, while not exactly shy about retorting, the flame-haired beauty seems more interested in letting her pro wrestling ability do all the talking.

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These differences aside, there is no denying that these two are top talents at the top of their game.

Their strength, speed and flexibility (obviously!) not only puts them in attacking positions throughout but also gets them out of some tight spots.

It is amazing to see how naturally they take to this arena. In my mind they are both brilliant mat-based session wrestlers. So, I was expecting there to be some hesitancy in both of them as they adapted to pro wrestling. But there is no sign of that at all. They confidently donned the leotards, tights and boots and just went at it!

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Laken is the aggressor and seems determined to exert her authority on her rival. But in Inferno she finds a strong and stubborn fighter who refuses to give easily.

At times, I winced at the punishment they both seemed to revel in dishing out to the other. How both their backs were still in tact is beyond my understanding. And I’m sorry but legs aren’t supposed to go in some of the angles they were put in – I don’t care how flexible they are!

The action is fast paced with the advantage shifting back and forth throughout. So it’s no surprise that they share the first two submissions in this best-of-three.

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So who gets the match-deciding third? Well, you’ll have to download it to find out:
Download: Flexible Foes

Because I’m sure as hell glad I did. I have others excellent videos that see Inferno and Laken in action against one another. This is a fun, exciting addition to that collection.

Toro has got a good thing going on here and these two stunning ladies were clearly inspired in his arena. Wonderful, enjoyable stuff.

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Get well soon Ari!

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This weekend marks the fourth anniversary of my first ever mixed wrestling session and I often mark this rather significant occasion with a blog looking back at my highs and lows to date.

However, this year, my mind is elsewhere following the absolutely rotten luck that befell my dear favourite and beautiful friend Ari last week.

I was gutted to hear that she had broken her leg because if anyone deserves things to go in her favour, it’s this gorgeous girl.

Thankfully, surgery went well and she is already back home. She’s even planning forthcoming work and sessions – it takes more than a broken leg to keep this remarkable woman down!

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I know that she is a strong and determined girl and will bounce back from this, like she has done previously when she has been sidelined through injury.

It wasn’t that long ago she suffered a serious leg injury that kept her out of action for months. I was “retired” from the scene at that point but I still remember being totally gutted.

First and foremost, I was upset to see a friend going through all that pain and knowing the impact it would have on her life and work.

But secondly, not having the option of a session with her if I wanted one felt like the end of the world at that point!!

The news last week did upset me for the same reasons and brought sharply into focus just how much she means to me and how significant she is in my wrestling world!

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I know I often repeat myself on social media and in this blog about how she is my favourite and I’m pretty sure there will be some of you rolling your eyes as I talk about her again here.

But, quite frankly, I don’t care as I doubt I’d still be in the scene all these years later if it wasn’t for her!

I’ve had the best sessions with her, I’ve had incredible laughs with her and I’ve been encouraged to try new and exciting things such as needleplay and beatdown sessions by her!

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She is an incredible talent. Truly inspirational and thrilling to wrestle or watch in action. Wrestling is an art form when she is doing it.

I will also never forget how she encouraged me to pursue the relationship that led to my temporary retirement and gave me much needed good advice which gave me the confidence I was lacking before I’d spoken to her.

And she said all of this despite me being one of her regular clients and despite her knowing that I would scale back or even completely stop sessioning.

I remember her words, “love is more important”. If that’s not an example of a wonderful friend, I don’t know what is…

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Almost four years ago, I had my first ever full hour session with her and I was hooked immediately. The sessions kept coming and each one was special and each one greeted with the same anticipation and excitement I felt before the first very first one!

She has never gotten complacent and has never taken me for granted. I am a client, after all, and her professionalism is always top notch.

Of course, there are many great female session wrestlers out there. I know because I’ve wrestled many of them! And I will wrestle others (old faces and new ones) again soon.

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My last session with her was a double alongside her bestie Jade. Jade’s a diamond too, another of my favourites and they make an incredible team together.

But Ari is the absolute best for me. Always has been and always will be. Even if she didn’t break her leg, any look back on my wrestling ‘career’ would have to be dominated by her. 15 sessions and one mini session kind of demands it!!

So get well soon beautiful Ari! The wrestling and fetish scene just isn’t the same without you. And thanks for four years of fun and friendship. And bruises…

Inferno v Mike

Destroyed by my favourite dangerous duo

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Sometimes, life is golden. Even when things are tough, something happens that doesn’t just lift the gloom but helps you hit the heights of pure joy.

And for me that moment came when I booked my favourites Inferno and Jade for a double session. I don’t really need to say anymore about how perfect and exciting this session was going to be other than naming them!

Through my constant adulation via social media and this blog, the impact of my praise of both these perfect beauties may have dulled for some reading it. Indeed, I’ve probably run out of superlatives.

But as I say time and time again, they earn every positive syllable. Even after all these years and sessions, booking them is still a thrilling thing. I still look forward to seeing them as I did the very first time. Still get that buzz I did first time around. And I still get my arse kicked as I did the first time around!

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So to finally book them both together – well that added a fresh dynamic that, while it wasn’t needed, certainly ramped up the anticipation level!

Alas, my weekend with Inferno and Jade didn’t actually get off to a great start. Train delays for people booked in earlier to Monica’s glorious wrestling centre meant all sessions were running late.

I was the last of the day. So I had to wait a while. But any minor irritation subsided once I arrived, knocked on the door and was greeted by the hyper beauty that is Jade! She and Inferno were finishing off destroying a prior client and I went to the waiting area.

When they were finally ready for me, I got changed and was confronted by the beauties you see in these photos! Inferno and Jade are not just besties but also have a perfect working partnership. Different in looks and character in many ways but the same in terms of talent, attractiveness and their desire to deliver top class sessions.

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They have an understanding that is natural and they work like a dream. Even when posing for pictures! And that makes for an explosive and perfect session!

But before my camera came out, Jade started things off by setting up a mock mugging scenario! She chased me around the gym and then got me down. When she gently removed my glasses, I relaxed a bit as I thought she would only be playful. But that didn’t last long as she started trying to “steal” my wallet out my pocket.

I clung on for dear life but Inferno was soon backing her mate up and my wallet was seized. They ignored the money and went through my cards! The library card prompted them to label me a “geek”!!

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Eventually they let me go and we moved to the ring for the battle proper. After a brief pause to take photos and videos, the “action” started. Inexplicably, I tried to attack both of them with slaps.

It was the last time I was to be “ahead”. The punishment started and there was no let up from start to finish.

It effectively became a beatdown session with me trying and spectacularly failing to try to fight back.

I actually lost count of the submissions! Which is unheard of for me – but it was relentless! Headlocks, body scissors, arm bars, face sits, arm locks – and much more gave me no chance.

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They’d do this individually or as a team. Each time with devastating effect.

I’m a big fan of both their arses but getting one of them in my face as I was trying to battle out of the other’s scissor made life difficult!

Unsurprisingly, I was in immense pain in no time. As nothing was off limit, I pulled their hair, bit them, tickled them, shoved their faces into “Epping forest”…and this unleashed the beast in them!

Inferno bit my arm in retaliation, Jade literally kicked me in the arse. They both started kicking and punching like professional UFC fighters. I replied with bitch slaps and weak as fuck kicks back!

One would hold, the other would attack. Then they’d swap. I had no response. It was amazing!!

Jade shocked me with the power of her kicks. I expected Inferno to pack a whole load of power as she is martial arts trained. But she’s also advised Jade on how to kick with more impact. And boy has Jade heeded that advice!

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The taunts came thick and fast too. My whining and cries of pain seemed to feed their desire to attack. The wrestling/beatdown was relentless and I couldn’t do a single thing about it!

My sulking, pained face did little to help me. Like with everything else, it just encouraged them to be more brutal.

They pulled my chest hair, slapped me, attacked my crotch, gave me wedgies and punched and kicked me into next week. They also applied “fish hooks” to my mouth and shoved their stinky feet in my face. It was awesome!

So what was the final score? If it was less than 30 then I’m claiming victory! But I’d take a respectable defeat of 40-0 if offered! I really don’t know how many times I tapped. I just know I tapped a lot!

I was battered. Completely annihilated and boy it felt great. There was a contrast of emotions – the joy and thrill of a great session was tempered with the sadness that it had ended!

But I booked them with full confidence of getting a wonderful session and they totally smashed it.

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I make no secret that they are my favourites. That’s not to say others aren’t great. Indeed, I know they are and have wrestled many of them. And I will wrestle more as time goes on.

But I connected instantly with Inferno when I first met her and the seeds of my love of her talent were planted instantly. It was similar with Jade. She blew my mind when I first wrestled her! I’m proud to call them my friends too.

So it won’t come as a shock to anyone that I’d recommend them for a double session. They are spectacular as solo wrestlers, they are double the trouble and double the brilliance as a duo!

I had a truly wonderful weekend. First the session, then hanging around with them after, talking about life, enjoying a meal and drinks. Of course, there will be other sessions with them. But I won’t deny that it was a wrench to leave when the time came and my heart hurts because I’m not still having a laugh with them right now!

I really can’t give them a better reference than that…

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